I’ve made an intentional decision to stop eating “fake” food; that includes protein bars, (which are quite addictive). I am reserving the right to an occasional protein shake, ONLY if I absolutely need it. Protein shakes have never been a problem for me. The chalky aftertaste leaves little to be desired. This current weight loss plateau has been going on for far too long and it is time to take the reins back. I have decided that I will no longer eat foods that do not provide some sort of pleasure for me. I will eat moderately and cleanly, meaning that I will endeavor to eat delicious, fresh fruits and vegetables everyday. I don’t want to eat anything processed. For the most part, I don’t eat any of that stuff. The problem is protein bars. I have been eating them for a few years now. Before weight loss surgery, they did not help me lose weight and now after having had weight loss surgery a year ago, they still haven’t helped me lose weight. They have been great to have when I am out and about and have nothing else to eat. It is still preferable to eat a protein bar in a pinch rather than subjecting my delicate stomach to fried, greasy junk food from a fast food restaurant. However, I have been eating far too many of them. I don’t need three protein bars a day on top of eating my regular meals. It is simply too many calories. No wonder my weight loss has stalled. Too much protein in the diet will get stored as fat. Starting today, I am eating whole, clean, unprocessed food. I will enjoy each bite and no longer worry about the weight loss. When we give something too much negative attention, then guess what? The negative emotions that are attached to our main focus becomes our biggest fear manifested as weight stalls and plateaus or the dreaded words, weight gain.
I’ve started back into counseling and I’m learning more and more about myself everyday. I am facing my weaknesses head-on. My biggest weakness is trying to find perfection in things, people and worst of all, myself. I am not perfect and it’s okay. You wouldn’t believe how many times I have had to say those words out loud and deal with the repressed emotions that surface from deep within me. This weight loss journey has truly been just that – a weight loss JOURNEY. Just like how one would encounter many possible dangers in a real physical journey trekking across the world, by oneself, this journey has been one of tears, triumphs, overwhelming sadness and overwhelming joy. I have struggled and I have overcome. This journey has been one of “ebb and flow.” Just as I celebrate one small victory, then I must go through and over the valleys of disappointment. It has been a learning experience, to say the least and it is not for the faint of heart. This has not been the easy way to weight loss, by no means. For those who would scoff and say that I took the easy way out, walk in my shoes for a day and then tell me otherwise. We are all on our own paths and none of them are easy, least not for the person who is blazing their own way through unchartered territory.
I am learning that I will fall down, but every 24 hours we get another chance to start all over again and do it until we get it right. I’ve always been the type who learns by making mistakes. I excel when I have exhausted every other way until I find the right way for me. I am reminded of a quote that came to me several years back. “In order to teach, the teacher must first learn the lesson.” I feel that I was put upon this earth at this time to help others or to teach others. How could I possibly know how to help others unless I have dealt with failing and then picking myself back up and trying again and again and again? I am more than a physical body. I am more than the color of my skin or the length of my hair. I am more than the dimensions of my body. I am more than the numbers on a scale. I am more than my height, my age, my status within my community. I am wonderfully and beautifully made, just the way that I am. If all of us all over the world could realize our truest and deepest potential is within ourselves and each another what could we as a WHOLE accomplish? We must learn, if we don’t already, to love ourselves enough to make the necessary changes to have the best life possible. We can only experience this life right now. It’s too late to fix the mistakes in the past and the future is not here yet so there is no use worrying about something that may or may not happen. All we have is right now. Will you live today as if it is your last day on Earth?