How to make a decision in the midst of emotional overload

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How have I only just discovered that I have surrounded myself with emotionally vulnerable people? If I stop to think objectionably about my life, it is rife with needy people. How did this happen? It is as if I am everyone’s Dr. Ruth/Dear Abby. Now, what do I do about it?

It is no wonder that there is a feeling of deep-seated loneliness within. How do I fix this about myself? I am always “fixing” others problem, it seems. At the moment, I am facing a pivotal decision. It could change the course of my life forever. And, of course, everything I do, always affects others, too. If you believe in the proscribed philosophy of “like attracting like,” am I attracting needy people into my life? Why does it seem that I am the one who is constantly figuring out what other people should do? Why does anyone think that I have all the answers? I have lots of ideas, but that’s not the same thing. So, what do I do? If I could imagine myself, outside of myself, and coming to me with the problem of the moment, what advice would I give to myself?

  1. Put the kids’ needs first. What do they need? What could be done to ensure their safety and happiness and the overall outcome of their respective futures?
  2. What makes the most financial sense? Something has to give. There will be something that is sacrificed. Is it going to be money or family? Yes, you need money for your most basic needs. How much money do you really need?
  3. What about a support system? Who will support you? Where will you receive the most support? Your current situation or the one that you are considering?
  4. What about your own goals? Where can you grow professionally and personally the best? Where you are currently or where you are considering?
  5. What is the overall goal? Is it happiness? Staying together as a family, no matter what? Whose happiness comes first? Who will be negatively affected by this choice, if any? Will you rest easily at night knowing that your decision could be wrong? What if it turns out for the better?
  6. What are you willing to risk? What are you willing to sacrifice?
  7. Will you be able to live with your decision if things don’t turn out the way that you hoped for?
  8. Remember that whatever decision that you make, you are not perfect, you are human. Things may not turn out to be perfect, but they can become the best you could hope for, if you are willing to take a risk. Your decision could reap huge rewards or it could be disastrous. How will you ever know unless you try?
  9. Your body doesn’t lie. How do you physically feel when you consider each decision? Don’t listen to fear. It always lies. Really listen to your body. Do you clam up with dread when considering your decision? Or do you feel relaxed as if taking a deep breath? Do you feel nothing? Dig deeper.
  10. You already know the answer to your question. Be willing to be open and honest about how you feel, especially to yourself.  Seek the answers and be relentless in the pursuit of finding it. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t stop. Don’t become apathetic or complacent. But don’t stress over it either.
  11. Trust that you will know. Believe that the Impossible can be made Possible. Hope for the best. Once you’ve made your decision, don’t waver. Make a final decision and stick to it. Know that you are doing your best and that’s all anyone could ever expect of you, especially you.
  12. If you find that you’ve made a mistake, go back through the steps above and figure out a way to fix it. You get to create your own reality. Don’t fret over bad decisions in the past. Each day you get another 24 hours to make a difference. You will make mistakes throughout life, but realize that you are learning and growing. Your experiences shape the person that you will become. Learn to laugh at yourself, learn the lesson and pick yourself back up. Repeat as often as necessary until you have the life that you have always imagined for yourself.

Hmmmm, it seems that I already know what to do. I will apply these steps in the decision making process and I will have an answer very soon. I need to realize that I am much stronger than I ever thought possible.

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, you will achieve……”

 

 

The Beginning of Anything you Want….

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So I’ve been reflecting on everything that has happened in the last three months…..it’s been a roller coaster, merry-go-round, tilt-a-world combination ride. Wow! There have been more changes in these last few weeks than previous entire years. I had been hoping for a big change for some time, but never expected all of it to happen so quickly. However, I’ve been doing something here lately that is counterproductive. Instead of looking ahead and even just living in the present, I have been looking backwards. What have I missed in the process? I didn’t come this far to back down. I’m not going to. I refuse.

I’ve been asking myself questions about what I really want out of life, just for me. It’s been extremely difficult to figure that out. I have been a Mom for so long that it’s hard to know the answer to that question. I suppose the best way is to begin asking questions. What makes me happy? What have I always wanted to try but haven’t yet? What no longer serves a purpose for me? What can I live without? What must I add to my life? What makes time go by faster?

I think that I will make a list, a bucket list, if you will. I’m slowly learning that life is what you make of it. If you just let life take you wherever, whenever……….then you can’t really complain too much about it if you don’t like where you ended up. I have a tendency to think about things way too much, so much so, that I never finish anything. I over-analyze the crap out of everything. I want everything to be perfect and there is no such thing as perfection, yet I strive for it and cause myself agony in the process. So tomorrow……I will wake up, decide to make the most of the day and chase happiness all day long. I am going to fill myself up with joy until it is overflowing from me so that others around me will have no choice but to be happy, too.

 

Forgiveness – the path to healing and restoration

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Forgiveness – the path to healing and restoration

Today, I am reading a book called, “A Course in Weight Loss, 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever,” by Marianne Williamson. I bought this book about 3 years ago. Like many other weight-loss books, fad diets and weight-loss recipes, I bought it with the intention of applying it to my life, but never actually took the time to do so. I was always in such a hurry to do the next thing in life. It’s like I went around acting as if I was getting ready to die and I needed to hurry and experience everything that I could. The problem was that I wasn’t actually living my life. I was storing up knowledge, but never taking the time to go through the motions required for real change. I would endeavor to say that my experience is like many of you, too. Somewhere along the way, each of us get caught up in the collective pace of humanity, which I think is set to the highest speed possible. Wouldn’t it be great if each of us could move a switch and set our own pace of living? Actually, we can. There are some aspects of life that require us to adapt, sure, but in the privacy of our homes and in the times when we are not working, we can adapt our lives to reflect our own personal choices. But how many of us take the time to actually do that? For most of us, we use substances to keep our bodies going when we really should slow down. Caffeine has been the drug of choice for most of the world. I’m not going to bash it entirely. I just enjoyed a steaming cup of Chai tea. Drinking a cup of it in the mornings helps to wake up my brain. But how many of us can say that we enjoy every single cup? Or every single serving of caffeinated beverages or food? I can’t say that. However, my daily intention is to enjoy what I put into my body. Why would any of us do anything otherwise?

Anyway, I digress…..back to the book. I found this book at a time when I absolutely needed it the most, but I didn’t read it. I had already found myself at the highest weight imaginable for my 4’11” frame at 272 pounds. I struggled to get through each day. I was tired all day and exhausted at night. I was miserable living in such a large body. I craved sweets and carbs. I also craved physical and emotional connection. I ate the most when I was lonely. I had many fears. To be honest, I didn’t really even understand where the fears came from and why I had so many. It wasn’t from a lack of trying to understand. I went through three years of counseling trying to figure out what made me so unhappy. I began to blame everybody in my life that contributed to my unhappiness. I became bitter and full of anger and at the same time, I craved intimacy. I wanted someone to love me, but most of all, I wanted to love myself. I wanted to feel worthy. For whatever reason, I wasn’t ready to accept the words inside the book. I tried reading it, but couldn’t get past the first chapter. Maybe it was because I saw so much truth in what she wrote and I couldn’t accept it about myself. I wasn’t ready. It would take weight loss surgery and the subsequent weight loss before I could even begin to open the book up again. It’s like I had closed the book on myself. I couldn’t stand to look in the mirror. All that I saw was loathing and disgust. I didn’t love my body. I had to collapse into failing health before I was able to make any change. I saw my children growing up without their mom and that set me into motion to do something about my weight.

The following words have hit home with me. We are not separate body parts to treat or diagnose. We are many parts of one body. If one aspect of our bodies, say, the spiritual side, is not begin fed, then we are going to suffer either in our physical or mental bodies. We have to learn to differentiate what part of us is hungry. If we are truly physically hungry, then we give our bodies actual food. If we are conscious of how different foods react in a biological way that can affect our mental or spiritual bodies, then we begin to choose better foods to fill up our physical bodies. The same philosophy applies to spiritual food and mental food. What do we do to feed our spiritual selves? Do we find inspiring books to read? Pray? Meditate? There are many forms of meditation. I have found that the best form of meditation for me is “walking” meditation. My mind will stop spinning off of its axis when I am walking out in nature. If God created the beauty of nature and it has no conscious thought to please God, what more will He do for us who seek to please Him? And, what about our “mental” bodies? Do we take time for ourselves everyday? Do we get enough sleep? Do we participate in a hobby that makes us truly happy? Do we engage with others in a meaningful and fulfilling way? How often do we get out with friends and enjoy the day?

Ms. Williamson wrote a passage about fear that really resonated with me. She wrote, “Fear is a psychic tyrant that has no intention of letting its slave go free.” How profound! I began to realize that Fear is like a separate entity for most of us. It can attach itself to us and make us miserable, if we let it in. We must treat it as an unwanted guest, but with a commanding demeanor not born out of hatred or anger, but out of authority and respect for ourselves. We must remove fear from our lives. We cannot enjoy our lives as long as fear follows us around like the life-sucker that it is. We must remove it from our thoughts and vocabulary. We must realize that we no longer bow down to fear. We are no longer enslaved by its tentacles of doom.

In order to fully move forward in life we have to forgive. We have to forgive ourselves for the unhealthy way in which we have treated our bodies. What is passed is in the past. We can’t go back and fix anything. We can only live in the moment and choose the outcome of tomorrow as best as we can by making healthy choices today. We have to be willing to let go of the hurt, anger, frustration, fear, and self-loathing. Today is a new day. Let yesterday be but a memory. Let it go. It has no power over you. You are not the same person as you were yesterday. Choose to evolve. Learn to adapt. Settle into the new patterns of what makes you truly happy. Accept nothing less than what you truly desire in life. If you don’t fully know what makes you happy, then begin experimenting today. Make a list of things that you might be interested in learning about and go through them, checking them off, one by one, as you would a shopping list. We have to allow healing to take place within ourselves, if we want true salvation from our addictive behaviors. Healing cannot take place without forgiveness. It is extremely important to forgive others, but have you forgiven yourself, too?

 

 

FEAR – The most vile of 4-letter words

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In my opinion, fear is the culprit for mass dysfunction. It is what breeds with hate and begets wrath. It is the creator of misery. It robs us of joy and contentment. It keeps us up late at night trying to predict the future, which we have no way of knowing the outcome. It is my belief that we create our lives through our thoughts. Obviously, there are some instances, probably even every-day instances, of events that are beyond our control. But, we still have control over how we react or choose to not react. Ultimately, it comes down to choice. Do you choose to live in fear and worry over every little thing that could go wrong? Or do you choose to live your life as an adventure? Your life is simply that, yours. You are the author of your story. You get to choose where you want to go and what you want to do. Do what makes you happy. Keep your eyes upon the path, your path. And whatever you do, banish the word “fear” from your vocabulary. Don’t allow yourself to even utter the words, “fear,” “afraid,” “worry,” “can’t.” That will be my goal for the day – each time that I think or begin to say any of the words above, I will replace them with “confident,” “hopeful,” “believe,” and “can.”

Let’s all make the day count. Complete your tasks for the day or not. Take a day off, lie around and be lazy or go for a walk in nature. Choose the outcome of today. What if today were your last day on Earth? What would you do to enjoy yourself? Whatever you do, embrace this day, this hour, this moment because it is the only one that you have. None of us are promised tomorrow. Let’s enjoy the day and be thankful for what we have, just for this day. Remember to continue collecting photos for your vision board. I’m calling this art therapy. I think all of us need to revisit our inner child every once in a while if only to remind us that we are still learning about life, no matter our age. Life is journey, let’s treat it like one.

Love & Peace,

May you find it, embrace it and spread it around. :)

 

 

HOPE for your Journey

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I’ve decided to do things a little differently. I’m going to focus on self improvement for a while. It seems that I’ve been doing this all along. I originally intended for this site to be all about food, specifically recipes for those of us who have undergone weight loss surgery. In my quest to find the best advice to bestow upon others I realized that I have to go deep into the root cause of the weight gain in the first place. Otherwise, I would only be putting a band-aid on a much bigger problem. The band-aid would eventually fall off and there would be a a half-healed scab underneath that is still raw and vulnerable. This blog, like me. is ever-evolving and hopefully we both will become a beacon of hope to others. It is my deepest desire to help others. I know about struggle. I know about pain. I know what it is like to feel stuck with no hope in sight. I am living proof that things can get better. You can become everything in your heart’s desire, but the first step is to have HOPE. You have to believe that you are worthy to have what you want. You have to believe before you can have hope. So, let’s start there.

I decided to go through my library of books this morning and found one that I haven’t read in a while called, “Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I have read the book at least three times, but I’m going through it again. I want to share what I read today as a synopsis. (The following words are my own, so please don’t comment to me about copyright infringement. This is purely my understanding and interpretation). The first entry is about starting a new chapter in life in the New Year. All of us should ask ourselves what we most hope for in life? Instead of writing resolutions that most of us will have abandoned by February, let us write down what we most want and allow ourselves to imagine the possibilities. First and foremost, we must believe in ourselves. Believe that the impossible can be made POSSIBLE. Try to imagine your life without applying any emotion to the thoughts that come. Just grab a pen or your laptop, whatever method you prefer, and either write or type whatever comes to mind. Don’t worry about how grandiose or lackluster your dreams look like. They are YOUR dreams after all. What have you always aspired to become? What are your most secret desires? Don’t think about what you need to do to make them become reality. We are in the “seeking” stage. Most of us have been so busy living our daily lives that we have forgotten what we really want just for ourselves.

So for today, just ask yourself one question: “What do I hope for?” You might want to set the tone of your mind and for your environment before you embark upon this journey. Before writing this post, I waited until the rest of the family has pretty well began slowing down for the night. I came to my room, lit my favorite pumpkin scented candle. Cleaned the clutter of the room and arranged my plethora of pillows on the bed to create a soft support for my back as I type on my laptop. I have some George Winston piano music playing softly in the background. It is completely quiet except for the soothing sounds of ivory. Find whatever makes you happy. Play your favorite music or not. Lower the lighting. Take a lavender-scented bubble bath. Allow yourself to completely relax and the ideas will come. Believe that the ideas will come, even if it takes a few days. You will get the answers that you seek. Once you discover what your heart’s desire is, start collecting pictures of what you want your new life to look like. Once we have collected several pictures, let’s start putting them in a scrapbook or on a poster. This will become a vision board. Hang your board where you will see it often to remind you of what you hope for, what your dreams are.

Well, that’s all for now. I am off to begin going through some pictures. Tomorrow I will start putting together a collage of photos for my vision board.

stock-footage-successful-woman-raising-hands-on-the-top-of-mountainOn a health-conscious note, let’s all of us vow to drink more water everyday. The next time you think you are hungry, ask yourself if you are really hungry or do you just need something to drink. Staying hydrated can help you maintain consistent energy levels throughout the day. Keeping dehydration at bay can help stave off migraine headaches and help keep blood pressure levels in a healthy range. We can do this together. May you have HOPE for your journey and find what truly makes you happy.

 

Peace & Love,

May you find it, embrace it and pass it around.

Message to the Little Girl Inside

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As I close my eyes, I envision a little girl about the age of six. She’s a little shy upon first meeting her. She seems to be a little uncertain about meeting new people, maybe even a little scared. I imagine walking into a room. It has beautifully restored hardwood floors with just a slight aged patina that adds a homey effect. There is a stone fireplace with a small fire flaming from inside the hearth, giving the room a soft glow of ambient light. I find myself drawn to an overstuffed sofa with lots of comfortable pillows in soft colors scattered about. There is a feeling of overwhelming peace in the room. I sit quietly and begin to relax and close my eyes.

Sensing no ill feelings of harm from me, the little girl approaches me. When I open my eyes she is standing in front of me. She has soft, gray doe eyes and long sandy blonde hair. She has a delicate oval-shaped face and creamy porcelain skin. She has no idea how beautiful she is. She is completely unaware of how her calming presence affects the adults around her. Her demeanor reminds me of a skittish colt; unsteadily standing on shaky legs at birth, but then one day becoming a majestically beautiful creature. The lighting in the room slowly becomes a bit brighter so that she can fully see me. She looks into my face with an intense stare as if she can see into my very soul. There is something profound about this little girl. She is an old soul. I can feel the empathy flowing from her to me. She is sensitive, indeed. I can feel how she is so affected by the all the sights, sounds and smells around her. They overwhelm her at times. What overwhelms her even more is the vibrations of energy that exudes from people, their thoughts and feelings creating an invisible web of emotions for those like her who are sensitive.

She places her tiny hand upon mine and suddenly I feel what she feels. We are connected. She reveals to me the things that scare her. Her father’s angry tone when he’s mad keeps her constantly worried that she has done something wrong. I can hear her mother’s voice telling her in hushed tones that she should be afraid of this or that. I see the shaming she has endured from her aunts and uncles for whatever reason, she doesn’t know. She doesn’t understand what is so wrong with her. She feels like she is lacking somehow, but doesn’t know how. She shows me her pet cat, the one that sleeps with her every night. I can feel the softness of her fur. Animals are drawn to this little girl and she has no idea why. They sense her gentle spirit. She is sometimes punished for being too weak. When life becomes overwhelming for her and she feels the need to cry, she must wait until she goes to bed at night where no one else can see or hear her. She also shows me some happy moments in her small life. She loves to be outside playing inside her own mind. She has a vivid imagination. She loves being outside in nature. The tall trees and soft earth of the forest feel peaceful to her fragile senses. She loves the color pink and it is, indeed, her color. It embodies everything sweet about this little girl. Her own little imaginative world is a secret though. She shows me many things from such a small girl. It’s almost like her life has been on auto-record from day one.

After a time, the little girl begins to ask me questions. Who am I?  Where did I come from? I explain to her that I am her, all grown up. She looks at me with a quizzical look, trying to understand what I’ve just told her. How can that be? Are you going to take me with you? I explain to her that she will become me one day, but she has to stay a little girl for now. She suddenly hugs me and doesn’t want to let go of me. I pour out all the love that I can and hope that it’s enough to fill her up for a lifetime. I want her to feel loved and accepted for who she is. I don’t want her to ever feel scared again. I want her to pursue courage and strength as if it is a pot of gold at the end of a beautiful rainbow. I want her to never stop looking for it and when she finds it, I want her to hold on to it tight and never let anyone take it from her. I want her to see how beautiful she is, inside and out. I tell her that she shouldn’t listen to anyone her tells her otherwise. I tell her that she is intelligent and multi-talented and has much to offer the world. I tell her to remember that she will always be loved because she was created from love.

She finally pulls away from me. Through tears of relief, she smiles at me, suddenly understanding everything that I’ve just told her. She knows that she is going to have some uphill battles in the days to come, but in the end, she will be okay. I’ve promised her that angels will help her throughout her life. She need not ever worry or be afraid because they will be with her always. I tell her that one day she will be surrounded by love from her own children. Someday she will get to tell them how beautiful they are, inside and out, and she will get to love them the way she wishes that she had been loved. As I stand up, she hugs me one last time. Her fragility is already falling away and there is a new shield around her called Strength. As I turn to go, I notice two figures of opalescent light enter the room. The little girl suddenly brightens up, recognizing the two as her “imaginary” playmates. I watch her for a moment longer as I stand in the doorway. She is happily chattering away, already imagining what a wonderful life she is going to have. I walk away and into the light. My purpose has been fulfilled. It’s time to open myself up to the wonderful life ahead, with Strength as my shield and Courage as my armor.

 

Pursue the Dream

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Pursue the dream and never give up hope that your dreams can and will come true. Don’t give up even if they become deferred for a time. Keep plugging away. Failure is a part of the path to success. It’s not if failure raises its ugly head, it’s when. Then the lesson transforms into persistence and determination. How bad do you want it? Do you want to make $xxxxx.xx a month working for yourself, setting your own schedule? Or do you want to work for someone else who can fire you for any reason at any time, no matter your amount of devotions, loyalty and time?

Go Forth and Have No Fear……

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Yesterday is a memory, nothing more. Sure, your actions of yesterday built the foundation of today, but yesterday has no hold on you. It is over. When you woke up, you were graced with an brand new day in which to work towards your goals. You have no room in your life for fear. It is the worst of the four-letter-words. It is a liar. You are so much more than that. You rise above fear. You face it head-on and you stand victorious upon its head with courage and strength. Now go forth with your day. Don’t allow fear, shame, doubt or regret in. You are wonderfully made and beautiful just the way you are. Love yourself and treat yourself with respect. If you fall down, stand back up and adjust your crown.

In This Moment

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I want to create, to inspire and spread hope to others so that they might realize their own potential to support the collective whole of humanity. The goal of reaching optimum health and wellness is not to perfect the outer form of our bodies for vanity’s sake, but for our outer selves to reflect the inner nature of the Divine, the Divine that resides within us all.

You must take responsibility for your own inaction. What are you really feeding? What is it within you that feels lacking? Is it really physical hunger or a hunger of loneliness or sadness or anger? Where along the way throughout your life did you first feel disconnected from the Source of all things? The Source that gives life to all energy forms. What lies have you listened to and accepted from others about yourself? Aren’t you gloriously made in the image and likeness of your Creator?

Notice the feeling of vibrations of your energy as it pulses throughout your body. Can you feel your heartbeat? Try closing your eyes. Do you notice its steady rhythm? How about the blood circulating through your veins? Have you ever just stopped thinking for a moment and allowed yourself to feel the ebb and flow of the energy inside of you? Rest your arm, close your eyes, clear your mind of the endless chatter. Do you notice that tingling sensation in your fingertips? That energy is who you really are. It is what created you and is what connects each of us to one another. The Source that connects all beings on the planet also enables us to do the very things for which we have been called to do in this life experience. There is never any need to worry about the mundane things of this world.

This present moment is the only time that you have. The past no longer has a purpose in the here and now. There is no room in life for regret. Let it go. The present moment is where you can connect with the Infinite Source of All. This is the place where ideas and dreams manifest. This is the space between spaces of thought. This is where God is. This moment, not the past, not the future. There is no mystical being in the heavens beyond, but right here, right now, in this moment that you are reading these words. This is the place where you are connected to your Creator. This place is the state of bliss. This is the place where wants and desires of this world no longer matter. In this plane of existence, the desire for unhealthy foods, slothful behavior and unsavory habits have no hold on you. You must stop feeding the emotions that thrive on negativity and greed. You must learn to detach from your singular self and connect with the Divine, the collective energy essence that connects us all.

 

Be Careful What You Wish For…..

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So much has changed since I last wrote a post on here. I know I’ve lost more weight, but I’m not sure how much. Then again, I could weigh the same but have buffed up muscle. Who knows? I’m not even worried about the numbers. I know that my clothes fit better. What caused the difference? What changed? I moved 300 miles away from home. Away from my aging parents. Away from my childhood home. Away from the only home that my children have known. Away from the beautiful Appalachian Mountains. We moved because of my husband’s job. We now know, first hand, what it feels like when a company decides to downsize.

I have been an emotional basket case for the last week. I watched the movie Cold Mountain a couple of days ago and cried throughout the entire movie. I kept thinking over and over, “those are my people who are being portrayed in the movie.” The accents, the culture, the music…..all of it is so familiar. I’ve moved to a metro area in Georgia where the accents aren’t that different from my own, not entirely anyways, but the culture is completely foreign to me. The weather is just plain crazy. We have to turn the air conditioner on during the day and then switch over to heat as the sun sets. It is December and there are still autumn-colored leaves on the trees in my front yard. Thankfully there are lots of trees here. I live on a beautiful lake and there are a herd of deer that hang out in my neighbor’s yard every evening. However, all I have to do is drive about 5 minutes away from my house and I am blindingly reminded that I live in a city now. I’m a mountain-born girl that’s moved smack-dab in the middle of a large metropolitan area. I’m counting the weeks down until our lease is up on the house that we just moved into. I’ve tried to figure out how we could move back home so much in the last few days that I fall into bed every night exhausted from thinking so much. I miss home. I miss the mountains. I miss the simpler life that I took for granted.

I’ve decided that there is not much that I can do about it right now except try to make the best out of this situation. Prayer is the only thing that has given me strength and hope for a better future. I seriously considered packing my bags and driving back home to my former house that is standing empty while waiting for a new owner to move in. I’m learning who i can trust, who is trying to take advantage of me and what I’m made of. I could think of nothing more than going back home, wishing and hoping that there could be a way in which we could move back. Just a few, short weeks ago we were praying to move away. In retrospect, I think we just needed a vacation. Life wasn’t perfect before the move and that is what I keep reminding myself about. Life is what you make of it.

As far as where I am on my weight loss journey…..I’m still eating a low-carb, low-sugar, high protein diet. My one temptation that I indulge in regularly is drinking Chai tea. I’ve obviously become much more active in the last few weeks. My clothes are looser. I have begun to see even more of my cheekbones in my face. I never realized before that I have such high cheekbones. I think I’m starting to look my age. That’s a little depressing, I’m not going to lie. I think a new haircut should fix that. I’ve decided that there is no time like the present to get busy living. There are many things that I still want to accomplish. So instead of pining away for something that’s now part of the past, I must look ahead to the future. It’s up to me to create the kind of life that I can imagine. In the meantime….I’ll be careful from now on what I wish for because I might actually get it.