How have I only just discovered that I have surrounded myself with emotionally vulnerable people? If I stop to think objectionably about my life, it is rife with needy people. How did this happen? It is as if I am everyone’s Dr. Ruth/Dear Abby. Now, what do I do about it?
It is no wonder that there is a feeling of deep-seated loneliness within. How do I fix this about myself? I am always “fixing” others problem, it seems. At the moment, I am facing a pivotal decision. It could change the course of my life forever. And, of course, everything I do, always affects others, too. If you believe in the proscribed philosophy of “like attracting like,” am I attracting needy people into my life? Why does it seem that I am the one who is constantly figuring out what other people should do? Why does anyone think that I have all the answers? I have lots of ideas, but that’s not the same thing. So, what do I do? If I could imagine myself, outside of myself, and coming to me with the problem of the moment, what advice would I give to myself?
- Put the kids’ needs first. What do they need? What could be done to ensure their safety and happiness and the overall outcome of their respective futures?
- What makes the most financial sense? Something has to give. There will be something that is sacrificed. Is it going to be money or family? Yes, you need money for your most basic needs. How much money do you really need?
- What about a support system? Who will support you? Where will you receive the most support? Your current situation or the one that you are considering?
- What about your own goals? Where can you grow professionally and personally the best? Where you are currently or where you are considering?
- What is the overall goal? Is it happiness? Staying together as a family, no matter what? Whose happiness comes first? Who will be negatively affected by this choice, if any? Will you rest easily at night knowing that your decision could be wrong? What if it turns out for the better?
- What are you willing to risk? What are you willing to sacrifice?
- Will you be able to live with your decision if things don’t turn out the way that you hoped for?
- Remember that whatever decision that you make, you are not perfect, you are human. Things may not turn out to be perfect, but they can become the best you could hope for, if you are willing to take a risk. Your decision could reap huge rewards or it could be disastrous. How will you ever know unless you try?
- Your body doesn’t lie. How do you physically feel when you consider each decision? Don’t listen to fear. It always lies. Really listen to your body. Do you clam up with dread when considering your decision? Or do you feel relaxed as if taking a deep breath? Do you feel nothing? Dig deeper.
- You already know the answer to your question. Be willing to be open and honest about how you feel, especially to yourself. Seek the answers and be relentless in the pursuit of finding it. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t stop. Don’t become apathetic or complacent. But don’t stress over it either.
- Trust that you will know. Believe that the Impossible can be made Possible. Hope for the best. Once you’ve made your decision, don’t waver. Make a final decision and stick to it. Know that you are doing your best and that’s all anyone could ever expect of you, especially you.
- If you find that you’ve made a mistake, go back through the steps above and figure out a way to fix it. You get to create your own reality. Don’t fret over bad decisions in the past. Each day you get another 24 hours to make a difference. You will make mistakes throughout life, but realize that you are learning and growing. Your experiences shape the person that you will become. Learn to laugh at yourself, learn the lesson and pick yourself back up. Repeat as often as necessary until you have the life that you have always imagined for yourself.
Hmmmm, it seems that I already know what to do. I will apply these steps in the decision making process and I will have an answer very soon. I need to realize that I am much stronger than I ever thought possible.
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, you will achieve……”