Hello, My Name is Betty Friggin’ Crocker!

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  1. In the process of finding myself I’ve uncovered some basic truths; I suck at selling something I don’t believe in, yet I have a license to sell insurance.
  2. I don’t like people as much as I originally thought. I enjoy a few close friendships, but even with them I feel like I have to go off by myself and recharge. Being around people for too long drains the life out of me.
  3. I really love “me” time. I love quiet mornings before anyone wakes up. I sit quietly in bed reading while drinking a delicious cup of Chai Latte.
  4. I really love the smell of cinnamon and the way the whole house smells good after I’ve made an apple pie. I couldn’t live the rest of my life without eating chocolate. It has an amazing calming quality about it. Actually there are lots of foods I could talk about, which just goes to show that I’m a major fatass foodie.
  5. I am a horrible sight-reader when it comes to playing music. I’ve studied music for years, but still struggle if someone were to place an unknown piece of music in front of me to play. However, let me hear how the song sounds one time and I will master it in no time.
  6. My favorite time of year is Autumn and early winter right up until New Year’s Day and then I could care less about the rest of the year. My ideal year would only be about six months. I would pick June, July, September, October, November and December.
  7. The older I get the more I love hearing old church hymns. They are comforting to me like an old tattered, but beautiful quilt.
  8. No matter how long I leave hair dye on my head there are some really stubborn whiteish-gray strands of hair that refuse the color change. One day I’m just going to stop dyeing it completely, I swear I will do it!
  9. When I was much younger I swore that I would make something out of myself. There was no way in hell I was going to waste the days away being a stay-at-home Mom like my own Mom. I thought she was lazy and stupid and couldn’t do anything important like working in corporate America helping all the higher-ups make all the money while the peons of the world made half pennies on the dollar. Boy, was I stupid?
  10. I really hate cleaning my house. If I won the lottery, I would never clean it again. Instead of “Calgon, take me away….” it would be, “Merry Maids, take me away…….”
  11. I just turned the big 4-0 and I’m still wondering what I want to be when I grow up……I’ve tried on many hats in different working environments and have found that I am the best boss I’ve ever had. I REALLY love working for myself. If I could just find that special niche market that would take off like a rocket and I could retire in 10 years!!!!!!!
  12. I don’t make enough time for my dog. She is the sweetest dog I’ve ever had. I’m so busy with every other aspect of my life that I don’t take time to really connect with her each day. Luckily for her, she has four other people in the house to pay attention to her. I’m thinking I could really learn something from her. She never worries about anything. She eats when she’s hungry. She sleeps when she’s tired and the smallest things make her the happiest dog alive. I’m thinking she’s the smartest one in the whole house.
  13. I never knew that I would love my family so much. When I was a teenager I used to pity those parents who allowed their children to be the center of their universe. I vowed that I would never get married and definitely NOT have children. Twenty years with my husband and three kids later, I have eaten my words over and over. Never say never…..
  14. When I think about the perfect working environment….I think of a few things…..One is owning an antique shop – love the old stuff. Another is owning a bakery where people could come to eat a delicious pastry, read a book or listen to some really great music – would feel like a big family get together. The best of all would be to become a successful and published Author/Writer. The problem is choosing only one. How does one choose only one path to take? The crossroads inside my head doesn’t have just two options….there are many.
  15. When I strip away all the reasons for doing any of the things I am interested in doing, I have come to this conclusion: I love my family more than fame, prestige or money. As much as it pains me to say it, I have become Betty Friggin’ Crocker….just ask my kids how delicious my homemade apple butter tastes!
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